Thereâs a quiet epidemic moving through the lives of midlife women.
Not one youâll find in a medical textbook.
Not one culture will name.
Not one that the self-help world can fully fix.
Itâs the erosion of inner knowing.
Itâs what happens when you spend decades outsourcing your truthâto doctors, experts, partners, spiritual teachers, even your own conditioned beliefsâuntil you can no longer recognize the sound of your own voice.
And hereâs the thing:
It didnât start with you.
But it can end with you.
This isnât about blaming systems.
Itâs about reclaiming sovereignty.
Because healing isnât about rejecting everythingâitâs about remembering whatâs true for you.
Letâs talk about the systems that shaped usâand how we return to wholeness.
đ„ 1. The Medical System
When Your Bodyâs Wisdom Gets Pathologized
You walk into the doctorâs office and say, âI donât feel like myself.â
They run tests. Your labs are normal.
They suggest:
âItâs just your hormones.â
âMaybe itâs depression.â
âHereâs a prescription.â
But no one asks about the burnout from 30 years of overgiving.
No one wonders if your body is grieving, depleted, or awakening.
No one invites you into a deeper relationship with her.
Instead, weâre taught to numb the symptoms instead of listen to the soul.
You might choose HRT or medication to support your healingâand that can be powerful.
But not when itâs prescribed instead of your truth.
đ©¶ Your body isnât broken. Sheâs brilliant. Sheâs screaming the truth in a system that rewards silence.
Healing is not something done to you.
Itâs something awakened within you.
đ§± 2. The Cultural System
When Being âGoodâ Costs You Everything
From girlhood, we were trained to be:
â Pleasers
â Performers
â Providers
We learned to read the roomâbut forgot how to read ourselves.
By midlife, something cracks open.
The roles no longer fit. The mask gets heavy.
And the voice you buried beneath everyone elseâs needs starts to whisper again.
But culture gaslights that voice.
It says:
âYouâre selfish.â
âYouâre too emotional.â
âYou should be grateful.â
So you keep overfunctioning while quietly falling apart.
đ©¶ Midlife isnât a crisis. Itâs a reckoningâwith all the ways youâve abandoned yourself to survive.
This is the moment you get to say:
âI am allowed to center myself. I am allowed to want more. I am allowed to change the rules.â
đ§ââïž 3. The Spiritual System
When Light Becomes a Cage
You enter the healing world looking for truthâand sometimes find another system that asks you to bypass it.
Youâre told:
âYour triggers are your fault.â
âYou just need to raise your frequency.â
âStay high vibe.â
But letâs unpack that first one.
âYour triggers are your fault.â
It sounds empowering on the surface.
But underneath, it can sound like:
âïž âYour pain is inconvenientâplease manage it privately.â
âïž âIf youâre triggered, you must not be evolved enough.â
âïž âYou should fix yourself before youâre allowed to belong.â
This isnât healing.
Itâs emotional gaslighting wrapped in spiritual language.
Hereâs the truth:
đ Your triggers are not your fault.
They are not signs that youâre broken.
They are invitations.
Maps. Messages.
They show you where your body, your story, or your soul still longs for care, truth, or repair.
Yesâour healing becomes our responsibility.
But responsibility is not the same as blame.
đ©¶ You donât have to bypass your pain to be spiritual. You just have to be honest with it.
You donât need to be âunbotheredâ to be wise.
You just need to be undeniably self-loyal.
This is where healing meets integrity.
Where you bring your grief, rage, joy, and intuitionâall of youâinto the room.
Unmasked.
Because spirituality that denies the body is just patriarchy in prettier packaging.
đ§ So Where Do We Go From Here?
We donât throw the systems away.
We discern.
We reclaim the radical truth that:
âš You are the expert on your own body.
âš Your emotions are not inconvenientâthey are information.
âš Your knowing is not too muchâitâs medicine.
Healing isnât found in one right answerâitâs found in the moment you choose to trust yourself again.
You might use HRT and breathwork.
You might pray and rage.
You might grieve the good girl and rise in your power.
đ©¶ This is wholeness. This is healing. This is your homecoming.
This is not a breakdown.
Itâs a sacred return.
Back to your body.
Back to your truth.
Back to your wild, wise, ungaslightable self.
Letâs talk.
đ Drop a comment:
Which system has gaslit your knowing the most?
And what has helped you remember?
With you in the in-between,
Angela xo